Various: TV Pilots + First Episodes

There are many TV Series from yesteryear that I'd like to check out — either for the first time, or from a more experienced, adult perspective — but for various reasons don't have time to do so.

TV Pilots / First Episodes can help decide what to prioritise, so I'm taking that route. I typically get more joy from 70s + 80s TV than I do from modern stuff, so I'm starting there. Call it an 'age thing' if you want. I'm Generation X. Rather than let those encounters go to waste or be forgotten in the years to come, I've chosen to record some of them here. In the order watched:

01. T. J. Hooker. Series Pilot / TV Movie: The Protectors.

Wr. Rick Husky | Dir. Cliff Bole | Release Date: 13th Mar, 1982.

Sergeant Hooker (William Shatner) rides his police bike towards the screen like a modern day Omar. He wastes no time in preparing a group of youthful police cadets for the harsh realities of the streets. Hooker is a man with something to prove, mostly to himself. A determined cop with old school sensibilities that are often at odds with a softening police force, he trains his cadets the only way he knows how. Love him or loathe him, they'll invariably respect him.

The Protectors delivers pretty much everything I want from a Pilot: a believable setting; a well-rounded main character with scope to grow in likability (or otherwise); a story with a satisfying beginning / middle / end structure; exciting action; and opportunities for empathy to develop, alongside a mature handling of themes. Basically, everything a modern streaming series isn't. [1]

It's far from perfect — Shatner does his best not to be Captain Kirk, but the old ways slip through; the script is heavy-handed at times; dialogue is overplayed by almost everyone who gets more than two minutes of screen time; and the career criminals who skirt the edges of Hooker's radar for the longest time are cookie cutter villains  — but it's not enough to ruin the good intentions. When the police sirens fire and the car chase music kicks in, it's 80s heaven.

Continue Watching?

I'd have put T. J. Hooker on the 'Continue Watching' list if not for the fact that only 2 of its 5 Seasons — which equates to just 27 of its 91 episodes — are available for purchase on DVD in the format that I need (R2). Sony Pictures Home Entertainment pulled the plug on it. 😐

02. Charlie's Angels. Series Pilot / TV Movie: Charlie's Angels.

Wrs. Ben Roberts + Ivan Goff | Dir. John Moxey | Release Date: 21st Mar, 1976.

Coincidently, CA's Pilot also begins at a Police Academy, but it's merely the opening credits, which is the only real backstory we get for any of the characters. It tells of how three cadets (Kate Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith) were assigned shitty duties after graduation, presumably because they were women, and of how they were saved from that by Charlie (John Forsythe), who gave the trio new purpose as privately funded Investigators.

It's a pretty silly set-up, but was clearly never meant to be high-art. An unseen Charlie sends the 'Angels' on a mission: enter the home of a missing (presumed dead) vineyard owner and discover the truth of his whereabouts. Their entry involved a more elaborate ruse than I was expecting to see, which was fun, but the minimal characterisation and a distinct lack of spark in the script meant I was only half-heartedly engaged. Even at just 74 minutes, it felt kind of long.

Continue Watching?

If I'd nothing better to watch, which isn't likely to ever happen, I could pass the time with it. I'd be selective, though, and choose episodes with guest stars whose work I enjoy.

03. Mrs. Columbo (aka Kate Loves a Mystery). Series Pilot / TV Movie: Word Games.

Wr. Richard Alan Simmons | Dir. Boris Sagal | Release Date: 26th Feb, 1979.

Kate Columbo (Kate Mulgrew) is a jolly, friendly person, successfully juggling the roles of mother, housewife, and part-time journalist for a free newspaper. Her reporter's eye for detail serves her well when, through pure random chance, she learns that a rich attorney might have hired a hitman to bump-off his wife, a lovely, devoted lady that did him no actual wrong.

I thought the name was playful wording, like calling a female playwright Mrs. Shakespeare, etc, but no, she's presented as being Lieutenant Columbo's actual wife; the one spoken of but never seen in Columbo's own series. As a fan of Columbo — he's my favourite TV Detective, ever — I wasn't entirely onboard with that, but the Mrs Columbo Pilot was genuinely entertaining, delivering the goods on its own merits. Kate even manages not to come across as a busybody, even though she has many of the traits that one might associate with such.

Continue Watching?

Yes, if they're as good as the Pilot. And it's only 13 episodes, in total.

Another coincidence: all three Pilots above have a Star Trek connection. I planned to watch T.J. Hooker first, but the others were chosen entirely at random. Shatner was Capt. Kirk in every episode of TOS (besides its Pilot.). Charlie's Angels featured Diana Muldaur, who was in TOS and twenty episodes of TNG's second season. Mrs. Columbo's Kate Mulgrew was in every episode of ST: VOY. Mrs. C also featured Rene Auberjonois, who was in every episode of DS9.

04. Hart to Hart. Series Pilot / TV Movie: Hart to Hart.

Wrs. Tom Mankiewicz + Sidney Sheldon | Dir. Tom Mankiewicz | Release Date: 25th Aug, 1979.

A husband and wife team, comprising of friendly CEO and multimillionaire Jonathan Hart (Robert Wagner) and his posh-totty wife Jennifer (Stefanie Powers), go undercover at a Health Farm to investigate the supposed suicide of a wealthy friend who recently stayed there. The duo aren't trained detectives or even registered as Private Eyes. It's merely a hobby for them, because being super-rich is terribly boring, don't you know. One simply must have one's pastimes.

I remember HtH being on TV fairly regularly as a kid. The Burt Bacharach-esque opening theme tune brought me right back to those days with ease. The Pilot corresponded to my memories of it pretty well: it's enjoyable adult escapism for aspiring housewives, with a danger-level set primarily to medium, so as not to raise blood pressures too much. Simplistic, inoffensive fun.

Continue Watching?

It would make decent afternoon viewing. I'd watch it while eating lunch.

05. Moonlighting. Series Pilot / TV Movie: Untitled.

Wr. Glenn Gordon Caron | Dir. Robert Butler | Release Date: 26th May, 1986.

I'd had enough of murder, so decided a change of genre was needed, so I picked a comedy... with more murder. Well done, me. It was tonally different, at least, but that doesn't mean it was good.

The crime scenes before the two main characters got involved were pretty great, with some excellent 80s music keeping the tension high, but the shift to Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis killed the drama. They replaced it with a wry sense of comedy that was largely reliant on a clash of personalities; i.e., Willis' loose, dreamer attitude versus Shepherd's self-important one.

The caper-esque trappings increased as the story neared its end, which felt like a natural progression and gave the pairing some actual vitality, but by that stage I'd gave up caring.

The 'will they / won't they?' tension could be enough to sustain interested parties long term, but I couldn't take another 5 minutes of the duo, much less 5 seasons, which is how long it ran for.

Continue Watching?

Ha ha. Fuck, no.

06. Beyond Westworld. TV Series Pilot: Westworld Destroyed.

Wr. Lou Shaw | Dir. Ted Post | Release Date: 5th Mar, 1980.

A short-lived sci-fi series based on Michael Crichton's Westworld (1973) movie. Ignoring the events of Futureworld (1976), it continues the original storyline in its own way.

The main character is Delos Corporation Security Chief John Moore (Jim McMullan). He's joined in the Pilot by female companion Laura Garvey (Judith Chapman). Together they must stop butt-hurt scientist and WW robot creator Simon Quaid (James Wainwright) from gaining political and financial power. Quaid is attempting to influence world events (and his bank balance) by placing hundreds of robots in strategic positions across the world. Can Moore identify and expose the robots in time? Will Quaid ever run out of nefarious plots? Does anyone really give a shit?

Continue Watching?

I kept going because it was only 5 episodes. It added a new cast member in the form of Special Agent Pamela Williams (Connie Sellecca), but the storytelling didn't get any better. The dot-matrix printer sound that accompanied the robot POV was hilarious, and not anything like what the movie did, even though the series is supposed to be a follow-up to it.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW. I'LL ADD MORE IF / WHEN I WATCH THEM.

[1] My thoughts on 'streaming' could fill a post, but I'll sum up in one paragraph: once streaming platforms started making their own content to avoid paying experienced others, the quality of writing plummeted. Stories that could be told in 6 episodes got stretched over 10 or more. More 'choice' became more 'crap' when 'more profit for shareholders' became the dominant thinking. You get the idea. You're not a viewer anymore; you're a resource to be exploited. And they do.